Why It’s Important for My Kids to Have Chores, Despite My Upbringing
Growing up, I never had assigned chores. I did simple tasks like tidying my room, clearing the table after meals, and occasionally helping with laundry. These tasks were not designated as chores; they were just part of being a responsible member of our household. If I wanted to earn extra pocket money, I could choose to take on additional jobs such as mowing the lawn or cleaning the bathroom, but it was never expected of me. My parents gave me the freedom to be a kid and instilled a sense of responsibility in me by allowing me to offer help rather than forcing it upon me.
Now, as a mother of three children, I have a different perspective. Our lives are busier and filled with more distractions than ever before. With my kids aged 14, 14, and 11, I expect them to help around the house. We have a chore chart on the fridge that gives them structure and ownership over specific tasks. They rotate through these tasks every day, ensuring that no one is burdened with the same chore all the time. These tasks may not take long, but they are valuable and help alleviate the pressure on my husband and me during busy school nights.
Today’s generation is surrounded by countless distractions that compete for their attention. If I were to wait for my children to voluntarily help with household chores, it would rarely happen as they would be engrossed in video games or rushing out the door to spend time with friends. As a parent, my spare time is limited, and I have numerous responsibilities to juggle. Between work, school runs, cooking, managing social schedules, and being their taxi service, there is simply not enough time for me to do it all without feeling overwhelmed. It is essential for all of us to contribute and pull our own weight.
Reflecting on my own upbringing, I now understand the burden my mother carried. She worked part-time, raised three children, and managed the household largely on her own. My father contributed very little to housework and cooking, leaving it all on her shoulders. Although she may not have had the mental load brought by today’s digital age, there was immense pressure on her to maintain a clean and tidy house while being a good “housewife.” She always put everyone else first, sacrificing her own leisure time for the well-being of our family.
As I became a mother, I knew that I couldn’t and didn’t want to do it all. My husband and I have the opportunity to make our own choices about how we want to raise our family. In our household, we see ourselves as a team, each playing an important role. We believe that doing everything on our own is neither sustainable nor enjoyable. That’s why we have implemented a chore chart and share the load. It promotes a sense of responsibility within our children, teaches them valuable life skills, and lightens the load for everyone.
Assigning chores to my kids is not about replicating the past or enforcing traditional gender roles. It is about instilling a sense of responsibility, teaching them the importance of contributing to the household, and preparing them for the future. Our color-coded chore chart serves as a visual reminder of our shared responsibilities and the importance of teamwork. Together, we create a harmonious home environment where everyone plays a role in maintaining order and balance.
In a world filled with distractions and a fast-paced lifestyle, it is crucial for children to have chores. It teaches them valuable life lessons, fosters a sense of responsibility, and lightens the load for parents. As parents, it is our duty to provide structure and guidance while allowing our children the freedom to contribute in their own way. By embracing chores and sharing the load, we are not only creating a well-managed household but also preparing our children for a future where responsibility and teamwork are vital.
