PAST DRAMA IN THE PRESENT: The Dilemma of Family History
Introduction:
A woman is torn between her family’s history and her upcoming wedding to her boyfriend, who happens to be related to the man who jilted her great-aunt at the altar in the 1970s.
The Burden of Past Controversy:
The woman’s great-aunt had dated her boyfriend’s great-uncle for financial reasons and had tried to trap him into marriage by falsely claiming she was pregnant. However, on the day of the wedding, the great-uncle didn’t show up. The incident has caused a rift between the great-aunt and the woman, who barely knows her.
The Outrageous Demand:
When the woman mentioned her engagement and her soon-to-be last name at a family reunion, her great-aunt freaked out and demanded that her boyfriend leave her house. She also warned the woman not to marry him, claiming that his family was all the same. This has led to threats of shunning from other family members.
The Importance of Family:
Despite not being close to her great-aunt, the woman values family and has made an effort to grow closer to her cousins and other relatives. She recognizes the pain her great-aunt went through but finds her demand outrageous.
Seeking Advice:
The woman is torn about what to do. Should she postpone the wedding to appease her family or stand by her fiancé? She seeks guidance on how to handle the situation.
DEAR PAST DRAMA: Understanding the Past, Shaping the Future
Analysis and Advice:
Dear Abby provides a fresh perspective on the situation. She questions whether the baby was actually born and if paternity was established. If the great-uncle discovered that he was falsely accused and that the woman didn’t truly love him but was after his money, it’s understandable why he didn’t show up for the wedding. Abby suggests that the woman has a choice to make: break off the engagement or refuse to give in to her ethically challenged great-aunt’s emotional blackmail.
Breaking the Curse:
Abby presents an opportunity for the woman to break free from the burden of her family’s past. By standing by her fiancé and making her own choices, she can create a new path for herself, free from the mistakes and manipulations of previous generations.
REPLAYING IN ARIZONA: Battling Social Anxiety
The Pain of Obsessive Thinking:
A reader shares their struggle with obsessing over their social interactions after social occasions. They constantly review their behavior, worrying if they acted appropriately. This pattern of thinking causes them pain and exhaustion.
A Possible Diagnosis:
While not providing an official diagnosis, Abby suggests that the reader may be dealing with social anxiety. She advises seeking help from a licensed psychotherapist who can assist in lessening the obsessive thinking and provide support.
Finding Relief:
Abby encourages the reader to reach out to their doctor or health insurance company for a referral to a professional who can help them overcome their social anxiety. With proper guidance, they can learn techniques and coping mechanisms to stop the cycle of obsessive thinking and find relief.
Conclusion:
On Memorial Day, Abby takes a moment to express her gratitude for the brave men and women who have sacrificed their lives in service to the country. She sends her prayers for their eternal rest.
Disclaimer and Contact Information:
Dear Abby, written by Abigail Van Buren (also known as Jeanne Phillips), provides advice and guidance on various topics. Readers can contact Dear Abby through her website or by mail.
