In his candid memoir, *I Regret Almost Everything*, Keith McNally, the renowned restaurateur behind iconic establishments like Balthazar and Pastis, opens up about a profound chapter in his life that few knew about: his romantic relationship with celebrated British playwright Alan Bennett. McNally, who has recently gained attention for his outspoken views on social media, reflects on this intimate connection that shaped him during his formative years.
At the age of 16, fresh out of school, McNally ventured into the world of acting in London. It was during this time that he crossed paths with Bennett, the mastermind behind acclaimed works such as *The Madness of King George III* and *The History Boys*. Their relationship blossomed while McNally was performing in Bennett’s play, *Forty Years On*. Initially, their interactions were innocent, consisting of theater outings and dinner at Bennett’s home—a ritual that soon became a weekly occurrence.
McNally recalls how, even before their relationship turned romantic, he was acutely aware of the societal perceptions that could arise from their association. “I made Alan park several blocks away,” he writes, illustrating the tension between his burgeoning affection for Bennett and the potential judgment from his family.
The relationship evolved over time, and McNally felt a shift in their dynamic. “Sleeping with Alan felt like a natural progression of our friendship,” he states, adding that their connection was more about emotional intimacy than physical attraction. This nuanced understanding of love highlights the complexity of their bond, as McNally noted that “after the first night, I’d stay over two or three times a night.” It was not merely a romance; it was a profound companionship that enriched his life in ways he still grapples to articulate.
However, as with many passionate affairs, the tides of change swept through McNally’s life. Eight months into their romance, he embarked on a journey to Nepal, which prompted a reevaluation of his feelings. “Although I was still very close to Alan, I no longer wanted to continue a physical relationship with him,” he confesses, revealing the emotional burden that accompanied Bennett’s deepening affections. This moment of introspection led McNally to pursue a more conventional relationship with a girl from his East London background, a decision that forced him to juggle the complexities of his emotions and identities.
The ensuing years saw McNally move to New York City in 1975, where he would eventually marry Lynn Wagenknecht, who became both his wife and business partner. Despite the physical distance, McNally and Bennett maintained a friendship, marked by visits and phone calls that continued to evoke nostalgia and laughter. McNally fondly recalls, “Hearing Alan laugh reminded me of all the times—some forty-five years earlier—when I’d delight in listening to him and [director and actor] Jonathan Miller laughing uncontrollably together.”
Bennett’s influence extended even into his works, with McNally noting that a minor character in the playwright’s production *Getting On* was inspired by him. This acknowledgment underscores the lasting impact of their connection, blurring the lines between personal and artistic realms.
Despite the challenges, including the discomfort that Bennett’s long-term partner, Rupert Thomas, felt around McNally, their bond remained intact. When McNally returned to London in 2011, he and Bennett tried to reconnect as much as possible, although they often found themselves navigating the complexities of their past.
Today, as a father of five with his two ex-wives, McNally reflects on the enduring significance of his relationship with Bennett. It serves as a reminder of the complexities of love—how it can be both liberating and confining, passionate yet complicated. McNally’s story not only sheds light on a personal journey but also invites readers to consider the multifaceted nature of relationships and the ways in which they shape our identities. As he candidly shares his regrets and revelations, McNally offers a testament to the power of love in all its forms, leaving readers with a deeper understanding of the emotional landscapes that define our lives.
